Do not let others choose your path for you or dictate who you are … you choose. Always. And when you choose? Choose the wrench.
“I chose the wrench” – Will Hunting
Warning: This is extremely long-winded and has some profanity. You have been warned.
Okay, so as you already know, my original mammogram/ultrasound showed one lump that was determined to be cancer (probably early stage II). And that’s what we focused on when planning for surgery. They then did a bone scan just as a precautionary measure and found multiple masses that were missed the first go round. These masses have now been determined to also be cancer and I’ve been upgraded to Stage III.
Yesterday, Greg and I met with the oncologist and a research nurse to discuss the actual plan in light of this new information. Rather than having the surgery on the 14th as planned, they have suggested, and I have agreed (assuming I am accepted) to enter into a clinical chemo trial to start on Wednesday, the 16th. That trial, will involve the traditional chemotherapy drugs, with one more new drug added that is in its “trial phase,” hence the term Clinical Trial.
So, this is what we’re looking at (I’ll try to be brief and provide just the highlights): The trial will last 4 months (1/2 day treatments every 2 weeks in Boston at Dana Farber (Feb-May)). Then for one month (June), I will stop the trial drug because it inhibits wound healing and will undergo treatment to prepare for surgery. Then I will have surgery at the end of that month. So, all in all, we’re looking at surgery in July. That surgery will be at least a single mastectomy (but based on the results of the genetics tests I’ve just received) I may opt for a double mastectomy.
This is way more information than you probably needed or wanted (and without a doubt goes beyond the bounds of HIPAA), but I want everyone who NEEDS to know, to know the specifics of what’s going on.
As you may know, both the blog title and the quote are from Good Will Hunting, a fabulous film I’ve seen too many times to be considered normal, and I think these two quotes from it are brilliant and applicable.
The wrench quote is actually a bit longer:
(Will discussing his foster father’s abusive behavior)
Will: He used to just put a belt, a stick, and a wrench on the kitchen table and say, “Choose.”
Sean: Well, I gotta go with the belt there.
Will: I used to go with the wrench.
Will: Cause fuck him, that’s why.
The way I see it, this Clinical Chemo Trial and the double mastectomy are the “wrench.” And I choose it. Wanna know why? Cause fuck cancer. That’s why.